Paul De Sousa

So today i was in a good mood and decided to message friends all over the place with an elaborate story about how my dipstick does not reach the oil anymore.

The question was where do I find a longer dipstick seeing as mine no longer reaches the oil.

The responses I got were funny, some were scary.

me: hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

Nic: wtf dude, you feeling ok ?

Paul says:
*where can I buy a longer dipstick ?
Valheru says:
*VW? Goldwagen in Roodepoort.
Paul says:
*yar
*my dipstick doesnt reach my oil anymore
Valheru says:
*011 760 4626
Paul says:
*dude im kidding
Valheru says:
*They just off Main Reef in Roodepoort/Florida CBD
*lol
*ass
Valheru says:
*that what you get for being helpfull

Paul says:
*ekse
*you know about cars n stuff hey
*do you know where I can go buy a longer dipstick ?
Barend says:
*a longer dipstick… for what?
Paul says:
*cause mine doesnt reach my oil anymore
Barend says:
*ROFL… are you kidding me…

me: hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

Jeremy: My dipstick is very very long.

me: eh…

Paul says:
*how you doing?
*listen
*do you know where I can get a longer dipstick ?
*mine doesnt reach my oil anymore
Ricardo says:
*what you mean?
Paul says:
*the disptick in my golf
*doesnt reach the oil anymore
*I need a longer one
Ricardo says:
*how can it get short?
*well how about topping it with oil?
Ricardo says:
*ever thought that you got no frekin oil in engine?

Paul says:
*hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one
robert.cairns says:
*lol how does that happen
Paul says:
*I dunno
*went to the garage this morning to check my oil but there was no oil on the dipstick
*so I reckon I need a longer one
robert.cairns says:
*lol I reckon you put in oil
*surely the dipstick is right?

Paul says:
*hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one
Danny says:
*maybe goldwagen ?
Paul says:
*maybe I need oil ?
Danny says:
*also possible
*when was it last serviced?

Paul

hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

12:12Ben

lmao

you just sucked that shit up so i had to look at your profile status innit?

(Turns out my status said something about Man United’s result in the premier league and Ben is a liverpool supporter)

Paul

hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

12:12Grant

why doesn’t it reach?

I’ve got a mate who owns the Midas in Randburg on Hendrik Verwoed….near St Stithians

12:13Paul

dunno hey

went to the garage this morning to check my oil but there was no oil on the dipstick

so I reckon I need a longer one

12:13Grant

or you could put oil in your engine

might be the problem

lol

Paul

hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

12:14Brendon

is this a trick question

lol

12:14Paul

no why

12:15Brendon

i dunno, vw dealers?

sure theres lots in ur town

12:16Paul

dunno hey, went to the garage this morning to check my oil, but there was no oil on the dipstick

so I reckon I need a longer one

12:17Brendon

err

rofl fuck knows dude

neva heard of the dipstick being the problem

hahahahahah

me: hey dude, how goes? do you know where I can buy a longer dipstick for my golf? mine doesnt reach the oil anymore, I think I need a longer one

robinpietersen: ya sure, there is a wp spares shop in norwood, you can order online – http://tinyurl.com/cnh6b

Paul:  do you know where I can find a longer dipstick ? cause mine doesnt reach my oil
valevix:  you could use my penis

Herald

how bout some oil?

that’ll do the trick

12:24Bradly

maybe put more oil in :p