A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom,
her husband asks, “Who was that?”
“It was Bob, the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great,” the husband says. “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure.
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129.” The priest removed his
hand, but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129.”
The priest apologized. “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm
129. It said, “Go forth and seek further up and you will find glory.”
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, and not have a care in the world.”
Puff! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”
Puff! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” ! the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered, “Sure , why not.”
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get
to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.
“They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top,
but it won’t keep you there.
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
Some wise man once said that a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step and this post is my first step.
My name is Paul De Sousa, I am a web 2.0 enthusiast and Search Engine Evangelist in search of knowledge, a deeper purpose, the meaning of life and of course some serious linkage and better rankings.
I have been known in the past to design processes for a number of web2.0 applications, although I am not a developer, I am an analyst, an ideas person. I find faults and provide new ideas and solutions.
I am employed by JohnCom and am grateful and honoured to be involved in the “The Times” project from a search engine perspective.
My involvement thus far has been more than just the SEO aspect, but general change control management of the current build as well as various documentation on where we would like to take The Time’s site.
Being a System Analyst for the group has allowed me to be involved in some seriously awesome projects, but The Time’s was a project that I was looking forward to for sometime and one that is not only right up my alley, but definitely a place that I feel I will shine. Do what you love, and love what you do.
I’ve had a number of blogs over the years so blogging is not new to me, I also helped design a number of ideas and processes for www.blogmad.net – a traffic exchange program for bloggers who are looking for new audiences, so blogging is not new to me. And neither is laziness, which is why I have had many blogs, but none that I have maintained for more than 2 years at a time.
So I have decided to run with this blog as a progress report on my journey with The Times project as well as any cool new things which I find and decide is good enough to share.
Enjoy, stay in touch and lets hold hands and share that link love!
The reason why management cut overtime.
While undergoing a struggle at my own place of work, I was handed this pamphlet which I scanned in and decided to share with the world.
Feel free to print it, link to it, copy it, steal it or pass it around.
Its definitely good reading.
How to Fire Your Boss
A Workers Guide to Direct Action
THE INDIGNITY OF WORKING FOR A LIVING is well known to anyone who
ever has. Democracy, the great principle on which our society is supposedly
founded, is thrown out the window as soon as we punch the time clock at work.
With no say over what we produce, or how that production is organised, and
with only a small portion of that product’s value finding its way into our
paycheques, we have every right to be pissed off at our bosses.
Ultimately, of course, we need to create a society in which working people
make all the decisions about the production and distribution of goods and
services. Harmful or useless industries, such as arms and chemical
manufacturing, or the banking and insurance scams, would be eliminated. The
real essentials, like food, shelter, and clothing, could be produced by everyone
working just a few hours each week.
In the meantime, however, we need to develop strategies that both build
towards this utopia AND fight the day-to-day drudgery of today’s wage-slavery.
We believe that direct action in the workplace is the key to achieving both
these goals. But what do we mean by direct action?
Direct action is any form of guerrilla warfare that cripples the bosses’ ability
to make a profit and makes him/her cave in to our demands. The best-known
form of direct action is the strike, in which workers simply walk off their jobs and
refuse to produce profits for the boss until they get what they want. This is the
preferred tactic of many unions, since this action is easily controllable (in other
words, stoppable), but is one of the least effective ways of confronting the boss.
The bosses, with their large financial reserves, are better able to withstand a
long drawn-out strike than the workers are. In many cases, strike funds are
non-existent or not sufficient. And worst of all, a long walk-out only gives the
boss a chance to replace striking workers with a scab (replacement) workforce.
We are far more effective when we take direct action while still on the job. By
deliberately reducing the boss’ profits while still continuing to collect wages, we
can cripple the boss without giving some scab the opportunity to take our jobs.
Direct action, by definition, means those tactics we can undertake ourselves,
without the “help” of government agencies, union bureaucrats, or high-priced
lawyers. Running to the Commission for Conciliation, Mediation and Arbitration
for help may be useful in some cases, but it is NOT a form of direct action.
What follows are some of the most popular forms of direct action that
workers have used to get what they wanted. Yet nearly every one of these
tactics is, technically speaking, illegal. Every major victory won by labour over
the years was achieved with militant direct actions that were, in their time, illegal
and subject to police repression. In the United States, for example, up until the
1930’s the laws surrounding labour unions were simple – there were none.
Most courts held labour unions to be illegal conspiracies that damage “free
trade”, and strikers were often beaten and shot by police, state militia and
private security goons.
The legal right of workers to organise is now officially recognised by law, yet
so many restrictions exist that effective action is as difficult as ever. For this
reason, any worker thinking about direct action on the job – bypassing the legal
system and hitting the boss where s/he is weakest – should be fully aware of
labour law, how it is applied, and how it may be used against labour activists.
At the same time, workers must realise that the struggle between the bosses
and the workers is not a soccer match – it is war. Under these circumstances,
workers must use what works, whether the bosses (and their courts) like it or
Here, then, are the most useful forms of direct action.
The slowdown has a long and honourable history. In 1899, the organised
dockworkers of Glasgow, Scotland, demanded a 10% increase in wages, but
met with refusal by the bosses and went on strike. Strike-breakers were
brought in from among the agricultural workers, and the Dockers had to
acknowledge defeat and return to work under the old wages. But before they
went back to work, they heard this from the secretary of their union:
“You are going back to work at the old wage. The employers have repeated
time and again that they were delighted with the work of the agricultural
labourers who have taken our place for several weeks during the strike. But we
have seen them at work. We have seen that they could not even walk a vessel
and that they dropped half the merchandise they carried; in short, that two of
them could hardly do the work of one of us. Nevertheless, the employers have
declared themselves enchanted with the work of these fellows. Well, then,
there is nothing for us to do but the same. Work as the agricultural labourers
This order was obeyed to the letter. After a few days the contractors sent
for the union secretary and begged him to tell the dockworkers to work as
before, and that they were willing to grant the 10% pay increase.
At the turn of the century, a gang of section men working on a railroad in
Indiana, USA, were notified of a cut in their wages. The workers immediately
took their shovels to the blacksmith shop and cut two inches from the scoops.
Returning to work they told the boss “short pay, short shovels”.
Or imagine this. Train operators in Australia are allowed to ask for “10-
501’s” (toilet breaks) anywhere along the mainline and Central Control cannot
say no. In reality, this rarely happens. But what would management do if
suddenly every train operator began taking extended 10-501’s on each trip they
Work to Rule
Almost every job is covered by a maze of rules, regulations, standing orders,
and so on, many of them completely unworkable and generally ignored.
Workers often violate orders, resort to their own ways of doing things, and
disregard lines of authority simply to meet the goals of the company. There is
often an unspoken understanding, even by the managers whose job it is to
enforce the rules, that these shortcuts must be taken in order to meet
production quotas on time.
But what would happen if each of these rules and regulations were followed
to the letter? Confusion would result – production and morale would fall. And
best of all, the workers can’t get in trouble with the tactic because they are, after
all, “just following the rules”.
Under nationalisation, French railroad strikes were forbidden. Nonetheless,
railroad workers found other ways of expressing their grievances. One French
law requires the engineer to make sure of the safety of any bridge over which
the train must pass. If, after a personal examination, s/he is still doubtful, then
s/he must consult other members of the train crew. Of course, every bridge
was so inspected, every crew was so consulted, and none of the trains ran on
In order to get certain demands without losing their jobs, the Austrian postal
workers strictly observed the rule that all mail must be weighed to see if the
proper postage had been stuck on. Before, they had passed without weighing
all those letters and parcels that were clearly underweight, thus living up to the
spirit of the regulation but not to its exact wording. By taking each separate
piece of mail to the scales, carefully weighing it, and then returning it to its
proper place, the postal workers had the office full with unweighed mail on the
Good Work Strike
One of the biggest problems for service industry workers is that many forms
of direct action, such as Slowdowns, end up hurting the consumer (mostly
fellow workers) more than the boss. One way around this is to provide a better
or cheaper service – at the boss’ expense, of course.
Workers at Mercy Hospital in France, who were afraid that patients would go
untreated if they went on strike, instead refused to file the billing slips for drugs,
lab tests, treatments, and therapy. As a result, the patients got better care
(since time was being spent caring for them instead of doing paperwork), for
free. The hospital’s income was cut in half, and panic-stricken administrators
gave in to all the workers’ demands after three days.
In 1968, bus and train workers in Lisbon, Spain, gave free rides to all
passengers to protest a denial of wage increases. Conductors and drivers
arrived for work as usual, but the conductors did not pick up their money
satchels. Needless to say, public support was solidly behind these take-no-fare
In New York City, USA, IWW restaurant workers, after losing a strike, won
some of their demands by taking the advice of IWW organisers to “pile up the
plates, give ‘em double helpings, and figure checks on the low side”.
A strike doesn’t have to be long to be effective. Timed and executed right, a
strike can be won in minutes. Such strikes are “sitdowns” when everyone just
stops work and sits tight, or “mass grievances” when everybody leaves work to
go to the boss’s office to complain about something of importance.
The Detroit (USA) IWW used the Sitdown to good effect at the Hudson
Motor Car Company between 1932 and 1934. “Sit down and watch your pay go
up” was the message that rolled down the assembly line on stickers that had
been stuck on pieces of work. The steady practice of the sitdown raised wages
100% (from $.75 an hour to $1,50) in the middle of a depression.
IWW theatre extras, facing a 50% pay cut, waited for the right time to strike.
The play had 150 extras dressed as Roman soldiers to carry the Queen on and
off the stage. When the cue for the Queen’s entrance came, the extras
surrounded the Queen and refused to move until the pay was not only restored,
but also tripled.
Sitdown occupations are still powerful weapons. In 1980, the KKR
Corporation announced that it was going to close its Houdaille plant in Ontaria,
USA, and move it to South Carolina. The workers responded by occupying the
plant for two weeks. KKR was forced to negotiate fair terms for the plant
closing, including full pensions, severance pay, and payment toward health
Unpredictability is a great weapon in the hands of the workers.
Pennsylvania, USA, teachers used the Selective Strike to great effect in 1991,
when they walked a picketline on Monday and Tuesday, reported for work on
Wednesday, struck again on Thursday, and reported for work on Friday and
This on-again, off-again tactic not only prevented the administrators from
hiring scabs to replace the teachers, but also forced administrators who hadn’t
been in a classroom for years to staff the schools while the teachers were out.
The tactic was so effective that the Pennsylvania legislature promptly
introduced bills that would outlaw selective strikes.
Whistle Blowing (The Open Mouth)
Sometimes simply telling people the truth about what goes on at work can
put a lot of pressure on the boss. Consumer industries like restaurants and
packing plants are the most vulnerable. And again, as in the case of the Good
Work Strike, you’ll be gaining the support of the public, whose money can make
or break a business.
Whistle Blowing can be as simple as a face-to-face conversation with a
customer, or it can be as dramatic as the engineer who revealed that the
blueprints for a nuclear reactor had been reversed. Upton Sinclair’s novel, The
Jungle, blew the lid off the disgraceful health standards and working conditions
of the meatpacking industry when it was published earlier this century.
Waiters can tell their restaurant clients about the various shortcuts and
substitutions that go into creating the food being served to them. Just as Work
to Rule puts an end to the usual relaxation of standards, Whistle Blowing
reveals it for all to know.
The Sick-In is a good way to strike without striking. The idea is to cripple
your workplace by having all or most of the workers call in sick on the same day
or days. Unlike the formal walkout, it can be used effectively by single
departments and work areas, and can often be successfully used even without
a formal union organisation. It is the traditional method of direct action for
public employee unions, which are legally prevented from striking in a lot of
At a New England, USA, mental hospital, just the thought of a Sick-In got
results. A shop steward, talking to a supervisor about a fired union member,
casually mentioned that there was a lot of flu going around, and wouldn’t it be
too bad if there weren’t enough healthy people to staff the wards. At the same
time – completely by coincidence, of course – dozens of people were calling the
personnel office to see how much sick time they had left. The supervisor got
the message, and the union member was rehired.
Dual Power (Ignoring the Boss)
The best way to get something done is to simply organise and do it
ourselves. Rather than wait for the boss to give in to our demands and institute
long-sought change, we often have the power to make those changes on our
own, without the boss’s approval.
The owner of a San Francisco coffeehouse was a poor money manager,
and one week the paycheques didn’t arrive. The manager kept assuring the
workers that the cheques would be coming soon, but eventually the workers
took things into their own hands. They began to pay themselves on a day-today
basis straight out of the cash register, leaving receipts for the amounts
advanced so that everything was out in the open. An uproar from the boss
followed, but the cheques always arrived on time after that.
In a small printing shop in San Francisco’s financial district, an old worn-out
offset press was finally removed from service and pushed to the side of the
pressroom. It was replaced with a brand new machine, and the manager stated
his intention to use the old press “for envelopes only”. It began to be
cannibalised for spare parts by the press operators, though, just to keep some
of the other presses running. Soon enough, it was obvious to everyone but the
manager that this press would never see service again.
The printers asked the manager to move it upstairs to the storage room,
since by now it only took up valuable space in an already crowded pressroom.
He ummed and awwed and never seemed to get around to it. Finally, one
afternoon after the printers had punched out for the day, they got a moving dolly
and wrestled the press into the lift to take it upstairs. The manager found them
just as they got it into the lift, and, though he turned red at this open
disobedience; he never mentioned the incident to them. The space where the
press had been was converted to an “employee lounge”, with several chairs
and a magazine rack.
Monkey-wrenching is the general term for a whole host of tricks, deviltry,
and assorted nastiness that can remind the boss how much s/he needs his/her
workers (and how little we need her/him). While all these monkey-wrenching
tactics are non-violent, most of them are major social no-nos. They should be
used only in the most heated battles, where it is open wholesale class warfare
between the workers and the bosses.
Disrupting magnetically-stored information (such as cassette tapes, floppy
discs and poorly-shielded hard drives) can be done by exposing them to a
strong magnetic field. Of course, it would be just as simple to “misplace” the
discs and tapes that contain such vital information. Restaurant workers can buy
a bunch of live crickets or mice at the nearest pet shop, and liberate them in a
convenient place. For bigger laughs, give the Health Inspectors an anonymous
One thing that always haunts a strike call is the question of scabs and
strikebreakers. In a railroad strike in 1886, strikers who took “souvenirs” from
work home with them solved the scab problem. Oddly enough, the trains
wouldn’t run without these small, crucial pieces, and the scabs found
themselves with nothing to do. Of course, nowadays, it may be safer for
workers to simply hide these pieces in a secure place at the jobsite, rather than
trying to smuggle them out of the plant.
Use the boss’s letterhead to order a ton of unwanted office supplies and
have it delivered to the office. If your company has an 0800 number, have all
your friends jam the phone lines with angry calls about the current situation. Be
creative with your use of superglue… the possibilities are endless.
The best weapon is, of course, organisation. If one worker stands up and
protests, the bosses will squash her or him like a bug. Squashed bugs are
obviously of little use to their families, friends, and social movements in general.
But if we all stand up together, the boss will have no choice but to take us
seriously. S/he can fire any individual worker who makes a fuss, but s/he might
find it difficult to fire the entire workforce.