Paul De Sousa

Poker is a truly wonderful game.

The thrill of the win, the money, the game, everything is so addictive.

When you flop the nuts and people are betting into you and you are trying to look confused, or when you shove all your chips in on a complete bluff and hope that you don’t get called, the adrenaline coursing through your veins, your breathing becomes shallow and when your opponent mucks and you show him your bluff.

There are few feelings like it in the world.

But there is a downside.

A very dark and ugly roller coaster of emotions.

I found out earlier today that JP, a poker player that I played with in a couple of tourneys, committed suicide over the weekend.

Recently Brandy Hawbaker, Vegas based poker player, committed suicide.

Depression and poker are often synonymous and it would not surprise me if it turns out that JP lost some of his bankroll or was feeling incredibly lonely – remember once you get knocked out of a game, thats it, everyone else is still in and YOU’RE out.

It’s not a team sport. You don’t have team mates to console you. You are surrounded by people who more often than not are happy to see the back of you.

And that’s the gist of it.

Whenever I get knocked out of a live tourney, I don’t stick around unless I want to play a side game or have a few drinks with friends or maybe even rail someone.

Those who know me know that as soon as I get knocked out, I am gone.

There’s only one thing that can get me over the emotion of getting knocked out early or on the bubble and that’s more poker so more often than not I jump into my car and I head on home to jump online and play a sit n go or switch on the telly and watch a WPT event and study players.

On my way home I will analyze my play and my mistakes and I replay the last hand over and over in my mind trying to figure out if I can get away from the same mistake next time round.

Driving 400 km however is not the most fun thing to do especially when you have just bubbled out of the biggest tourney of your life and all you can do is think of a9 off suit and wonder to yourself why on earth you would want to play that hand in the first place instead of sending it right where it belongs, into the muck.

Poker can be very draining on your spirits, especially when you bubble.

My advice to people who intend on traveling far to play in a big game is to NOT travel alone.

Go with a friend, a lover, a family relative and NOT another player who is playing in the same tourney.

Some people might think that the best thing to do is to go with someone that you playing with but if that person makes the money and you didn’t, the drive home will be uncomfortable and visa versa. If you both bubble or both cash then great, you can be miserable together all the way home or be happy together.

A non poker playing companion or a poker playing companion that is not playing in the same tourney is perfect however because you’ll talk about other things, they will console you, rub your head, pat your back and generally land up talking about other things.

If you have a partner, lover or spouse that is going to be playing with you maybe take a 3rd party in the car, make sure the person driving is not the person that bubbled or you might find yourself heading down a ravine because he is sick of hearing you plan your trip to Vegas when the only trip he will be taking is one down misery lane.

I thank God for the friends and family that I have, those that sent me good wishes and phoned me and sms’d me – they are truly a godsend.